Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster

Actually, this is a virgin Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster recipe. Heresy, I know...

• Take the juice from one bottle of that Ol' Janx Spirit, it says.

I used Pineapple juice.

• Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V - Oh, that Santraginean sea water, it says. Oh those Santraginean fish!!!

I skipped this step, since my juice was not condensed.

• Allow three cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the mixture (it must be properly iced or the benzene is lost).

I used cubes of frozen red cabbage juice. Boil the red cabbage in water for a few minutes. The water will turn blue. This liquid is a PH indicator, which will turn red in the presence of acid. As the ice cubes melt, the liquid will slowly turn reddish, so this is also doing the job of the sun-tiger tooth below.

• Allow four litres of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it (in memory of all those happy Hikers who have died of pleasure in the Marshes of Fallia).

Small pieces of dry ice work well, since Fallian marsh gas is easier to transport in solid form.

• Over the back of a silver spoon float a measure of Qualactin Hypermint extract, redolent of all the heady odours of the dark Qualactin Zones; subtle, sweet, and mystic.

One drop of peppermint oil on the back of a spoon. Peppermint oil really is hypermint extract!

• Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger. Watch it dissolve, spreading the fires of the Algolian suns deep into the heart of the drink.

Still need a good substitute for this.

• Sprinkle Zamphour.

I used cinnamon. The German word for cinnamon is "zimt", so it starts with a same letter, sort of.

• Add an olive.

Simple enough.

• Drink... but... very carefully...

Especially if there is still dry ice boiling away in it.